Throughout my pregnancy, I basically avoided all scales. At each doctor’s appointment I told the nurse, “Don’t tell me; I don’t want to know.” I knew I probably wouldn’t like what I was about to hear. The day before Micah was born, I stepped on the scale and was faced with a scary number-55. That’s right, I gained a total of 55 pounds by the end of my pregnancy.
Micah was born in the summer, I was hot and sweaty 24/7…which meant I needed to cool off with Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream. If you haven’t tried it..you are NOT living. Go treat yourself to a pint as soon as you are finished reading this. Trust.
We moved to the east coast when I was 5 months pregnant. Let’s just say we had A LOT going on. I was working, selling a house, buying a house, and even living in a hotel for a short period of time. Cooking healthy meals and exercising were not top of mind at the time. We were always on the move, which meant a lot of fast food and Grub Hub. As soon as we moved into our new home, Rob and I went to Europe for two weeks to celebrate our anniversary. Obviously, I had to indulge in pasta and nutella gelato every night. As Cardi B would say “Let me fat in peace.”
Once we were back, I spent my time nesting and resting while preparing for my baby boys arrival. I did some exercise, but looking back it wasn’t enough. Clearly…
When I walked into my 6 week postpartum appointment, my doctor told me I was doing well with the 17 post-baby pounds I had lost; everything else I had to lose was just fat and wasn’t from the baby. I remember standing there naked, with my robe wide open while my breasts leaked milk everywhere. I couldn’t even see my c-section incision at the time because my postpartum tummy aka “tina the talking tummy” was in the way. I remember standing there and thinking to myself, “Oh sh*t. Thanks Ben and Jerry. FML.”
Loving my pre-baby body was already hard enough. I always used to joke with Robert saying I’m just 3 meals behind where I want to be. You know how your tummy is nice and flat as soon as you wake up in the morning? You look and feel so good, then by the time late afternoon hits your flat tummy has turned into a little fanny pack or a kangaroo pouch. I’m now 20 weeks postpartum and have 20 more pounds to lose. Some days I feel sexy and beautiful; others I feel like a squishy blob.
Two years ago I lost 40 pounds and was in the best shape of my life. I was working out 4-5 days a week, eating clean, and doing multiple green smoothie cleanses. The weight dropped off like crazy, but the diet just wasn’t sustainable. Being in school, working full time, and traveling to Greece, Italy and Paris for multiple weeks didn’t help either. I fluctuated 40 pounds in one year. I’m like a young Oprah, JK, but no really…
I know I’ll lose the weight. It will just take time. I know that I need to be realistic and patient with myself and trust the process.
Positive Affirmations
So, how do I work on falling in love with my new mom bod? And I say WORK on because it is a constant struggle. The struggle is real!
I say the below phrases out loud a couple times a day…
- I am beautiful
- I am sexy
- I am worthy
- I need to be kind to myself
- I need to be patient with myself
- I brought life into this world
- I carried my baby for 9 months in this body
- I know the weight will not come off overnight
- I have lost weight before and I WILL do it again
The more we chose to think positive thoughts the happier we will be. Letting go and fully embracing who we are takes time and practice, but it can be done. We are women and women can do ANYTHING. So, know you are not alone,embrace your stretch marks and scars mama. You brought LIFE into this world and you are remarkable.
I’ve learned that I can still have my relationship with Ben and Jerry. It just can’t be every single night. With time I know the love I have for myself will grow deeper and deeper. I look forward to that day. I accept myself and I am whole.
Xoxo,
Jacqueline
